sweet karen 1986

it was wonderful, I'm a little shocked at myself and just a little conflicted.

The other night I went home with a friend of a friend I had met onlyhours before. He was a witty, charming, intelligent and utterlybeautiful (head to toe, ahaha) man with a devastating accent alsoliving in the city. I tried to play aloof at first, but we had aninstant connection. I knew what was happening every step of the way. Itwas safe. He was tender and respectful. I felt worshipped, sexy,desired, wonderful. I knew we would part ways--frankly, I wouldn't knowwhat to do if he were to find me and ask me out again. It's days laterand I still grin and blush at flashbacks of the night and my colleageshave noticed a significant spring in my step. Needless to say, I lovedit.

The experience has opened my mind--it was akin to being moved by apiece of great literature, a breathtaking landscape, a bite of heavenlycheese, only it was... sex. I gave in to lust and sex and seductionfreely, like a single man more commonly might. (Certainly not all men,of course!) It's been a rite of passage I didn't ever think applied tome. I've always been a "good girl" but I don't know what that meansanymore. I'm absolutely glad it happened and will cherish the memory,and I also recognize this as something I probably don't need to doagain. Probably.

Not to overthink this delicious plate of beans, but I'm feeling alittle guilty for not feeling guilty, if that makes sense. And I'm notintentionally being secretive, but I haven't been able to tell myfriends just yet. ("Guess what happened this weekend...") I'm not surewhat I would say. I'm not sure they'd understand. Actually, I thinkthey would. Do you?

I'm not really looking to figure out if I'm a late-bloomer, a jezebel, a prude. And I'm not bragging, I promise!

Just broke up with my bf . we both met online and he was a sweet guy. i wish him the best.

Well, I broke up with him this afternoon. Via email. I know, I'm chicken sh*t.

I used a stupid argument from Sunday, where he was slightlyinconsiderate to me, as an excuse. I feel ill at at how cowardly I am.

My break-up email was a litany of blame (on him), and excuses why I couldn't be his gf. Not once did I take responsibility for myself. Iguess I wanted him to feel really sorry. Not that he was a horrible bf.

But I wanted him to feel like one. I guess I needed to assuage my guilton leaving a perfectly nice guy.

Thanks for letting me vent.